Good week for Conservatives, don’t you think? I hear that Brian Mulroney did pretty well too!
Q: Why is Michael Ignatieff still in Canada?
A: Because Ruby Dhalla’s holding his passport.
Play her off, keyboard cat…
I received this a while ago from a friend and it was so absurd it made me laugh so I thought I’d share it with you. It was written in response to Stephane Dion’s Green Shift proposal.
First, and this is important, this posting emits NO greenhouse gases. I have had this verified by leading climate change scientists like Dr David Jacuzzi of the National Environmental Rating Department. I make this point off the top so as to make it clear that I am not subject to any carbon fines that would be levied by Stephane Dion and his heroic band of emission catchers.
So….to be clear….this posting does not violate any laws whether they be laws made by God, by Man or by Stephane Dion. But back to Greenhouse Gases, or as those of us in the scientific community like to call them, GHGs. Now for some scientific facts.
First, these are poisonous gases that will kill you instantly if inhaled, touched, seen, heard or imagined.
Second scientists using powerful microscopes have proven that GHGs cause:
A) the weather
B) the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs while the cavemen cowered in their…umm….caves.
C) Al Gore.
Third, the only way to stop GHGs is to raise your taxes. Yes…the two SEEM unconnected, but that’s because your brain has been addled by GHGs. If you were a leading scientist like Stephane Dion you would understand the scientific formula which proves that giving him a bigger piece of your paycheque to go toward more social programs would mean a permanent end to the scourge of Greenhouse Gases.
Mr Dion’s science based approach is called the Green Bait and Shift. Here’s how it works. You pay thousands of dollars extra in taxes for indulging luxuries like heating your home, fueling up your car, BBQing hotdogs for the kids at the orphanage, or having air conditioning at the seniors centre. Mr Dion then takes the money from fat cats like you, keeps a portion for public servants to spend in a wise and efficient manner, and then gives the remainder of the money to other people who didn’t earn it.
This raises the following question: what’s so green about that? The answer of course is that nothing in this process will cause burrowing owls to be hurt. See….no animals are used for testing in this entire process. So let us now recap for those who aren’t prominent scientists.
The Green Bait and Shift tackles GHGs head on via Canada’s vaunted social safety net, our taxation system, hundreds of thousands of public servants, businesses and charities and millions of families. With everyone working together like this how can anything go wrong?
Its also important that we do this now as fuel prices hit their highest point in history and as our largest trading partner teeters on the edge of recession. But would there really be a recession if this really does patch the very hole in the ozone layer where the GHGs are leaking into our atmosphere? Imagine how our economy will boom when the glaciers return and scrape away all nuclear weapons meaning no more worries about a nuclear winter! And of course, most importantly, the world could say goodbye forever to the threat of Tsunamis.
I for one agree with Mr. Dion when he says that the only thing that can save the world is a really big Shift. I’m Shifting now as I write this, and I hope you will too.
Last Thursday, on day behind schedule, the Liberal Party unveiled their “Green Shift” plan to caucus and to the national media. Liberal friends tell me that their leader finally gave the best performance of his career as party leader despite his later communications stumbles when asked to defend the plan on CBC’s National and The House.
The Liberals also launched a website at thegreenshift.ca to provide a location where Canadians could download their plan. I thought that the site was ripe for parody and a good-natured ribbing so I immediately registered theshiftygreen.ca and went to work creating a knock-off of their website from a humourous and cynical point of view. The site, uh, shifted focus from the lofty and abstract environmental claims of the “Green Shift” plan to what it really is, a fiscal outline of the Liberal’s election platform. The site included the blog of Stephane Dion’s new dog “Revenue Neutred” and encouraged Canadians to submit their emails and “sign up for behaviour modification”. The site was quite successful and captured the attention of the Toronto Star, National Newswatch and the blogging community.
There was one slight snag, however. In knocking-off the Liberal website, I neglected to “knock-off” the Liberal logo enough to satisfy the legal concerns of the Liberal Party. I received a call from their lawyer letting me know that my use of their logo poses trademark concerns and we very amicably agreed that the solution to their dilemma would be to create a derivative work of their logo. I received the following email to confirm the conversation.
This is to confirm our conversation of a few minutes ago.
To begin, thanks for being cooperative; it’s really appreciated when someone on “the other side” is reasonable and constructive in responding to a problem.
More formally, this will confirm that you indicated that you do in fact operate theshiftygreen.ca website, and more to the point that you agreed to remove all occurrences of the Liberal Party of Canada logo (a registered Trademark) from the website within the next hour or so.
As indicated in our discussion, I provide my contact information below. Please let me know as soon as possible, if for any reason all instances of the Trademark are not removed from the site within he time frame discussed.
Thanks again for your cooperation.
The telephone call was a nice courtesy from the Liberals and I recognized that I may have been in error and I set out to create a different version of their logo to compliment the site. Here is the original:
and the changed version:
I even called the lawyer back to confirm that the logo was changed enough to satisfy their requirements. He assured me that the logo was different enough from the Liberal brand and thanked me for the cooperation. He joked that he even laughs and encourages his own team to do similar parodies of Conservatives when the opportunity arises.
“Developing a looping support network of Responsible, Ethical Companies in order to Shift us into a world where capitalism is more in harmony with nature, and where success is defined by more than greed.”
The company has complained,
“For us to take this further (against the Liberals), it’s a David and Goliath problem,” Wright said. “We’re fine on our own, without any political affiliation. We’ve done everything to build our name on trust and integrity.”
Stephane Dion’s communications director Mark Dunn said of the “Green Shift” name use,
“A courtesy call was made last Monday in advance of (the) launch to let them know they might get increased traffic”
Those Liberals are so courteous, don’t you think? First they call me to let me know that I’ve allegedly run afoul of their trademark rights (I complied immediately), and now the Liberals aren’t budging when someone else comes calling protesting the allegedly inappropriate use of their brand.
A Liberal spokesman discounted the company’s protests that the Liberals mimicked Green Shift’s web domain name, by adding the article “the” before Greenshift.ca.
“We rightly own the domain name,” said Dunn. “We are not a commercial threat to the company. The content of our site is about policy, not products.”
While one site is about products and one site is about policy, both sites are about the environment. The Liberals would have a better defence (but it would still be faulty) if they argued that the “green” in “green shift” referred to hard-earned money earned by families that drive their kids to soccer practice rather than a reference to environmental sustainability.
The Liberals should promptly and cooperatively comply with the concerns of Green Shift Inc.
Airing a week ago on January 22nd, CBC’s This Hour has 22 minutes weighed in on the complaints that CBC received from Doug Finley, Conservative Party chief of political operations (background and first letter, second letter).
When, as in the present instance, it is revealed that a reporter has been collaborating, even if only obliquely, with one party or another, an appearance of partisanship emerges that cannot be dispelled by claims that this is how political reporters interact with their sources. — John Cruickshank, CBC News
CBC’s recognition of Conservative concern and it’s action on the complaint shows that the CBC is at least reluctantly receptive to complaints of impartiality when discussed broadly by senior political officials and other news media.
We must demand accountability in fake news!
Please write them on their website with your complaints, or spew your crap all over the comments below.